Three days later I lay a rose and a letter on the doorstep to the apartment building.
This was the letter I left him.
To: The owner of a large black lab.
From: P for Poovenge.
Politely I ask of you to Picture this rose as Poop.
Purposely I inform you, your Practice is a Problem for many People. Thus I Present to you the Proper Protocol when your Pet Poops and you Purposely Pretend to be oblivious. PLACE POO IN PLATISC BAG!
Please take Particular notice, I am a “Pacifist” A Person opposed to violence as a means of settling disputes or Problems.
Perhaps, Picturing Particular Possibilities will provoke you to Prevent your Past from reoccurring. Pained, I have Pondered, how to, Patiently Purify the streets of Putrid droppings.
Perhaps your think your Posture in Public is Powerful, Prestigious, thus Privileged and of this you are Particularly Proud, making you Pompous and Pretentious. Presumably, this does Pertains to you, thus a Predicament; you do not Partake in Pursing our Plan of having of clean streets.
It is difficult to Provoke you to Permanently make a Pact to Purge your Perverse Pattern Pertaining to your Pet Poo. However I do truly hope this letter will make you Partake in future actions that will Prevent Precious Persons from Probable accidents. I do Predict you shall swallow your Pride and from now on and Perfectly Pick up Poo.
Please Pick up POOP.
P for Poovenge.
PICTURE THIS ROSE A POOP, How Pleasant?
Any thoughts on this letter? We are not poets so please help! Perhaps you have some better ideas! Please comment below!